I grew up in a rather strict family. My mother set many rules and regulations for me to follow since I was a child. She would punish me for everything I had done wrong, and rarely rewarded me. I felt that it was not fair to me. I thought that it was really hard to not make any mistakes and please her all the time. As a result, I really hated rules and felt that they were just there to punish people. Our conversations in the family had always been whether I had finished all my homework or not, my schedule planned for the next few days, and my recent test scores. Whenever I shared about the fun things happened that day, I could feel that she was not actually listening to me, that her mind was occupied by other “more important” things. From this experience, I learned the importance of understanding. I think that rules should be flexible, that they should be different based on different situations. Since I know how it feels to not be heard, I recognize the importance of listening. I would try my best to pay full attention to my friends when they talk to me, making sure they feel that I understand what they think and feel. As a result, my friends are very willing to share their problems and stories with me. As I try to understand them, I would relate to them through my own past experiences, allowing us to connect and feel that we are not alone. This helped me understand what empathy is and how important it is in relationships.
Gymnastics has been a big part in my life. The coaches I have encountered all have impacts on my views on leadership. My coach in the Hong Kong team was someone I respect a lot. He could be very strict at times, but he could also be a fun person as well. As we were all elementary kids, he had to discipline us in order to make us do what he wanted us to do. At times, I would actually be scared of him, so much that I would not even want to go to practice and felt dizzy beforehand. This was because the training was really harsh, and that he would yell and hit us when we did something wrong. When he talked to the team after someone got in trouble, he would tell us that he could either be a fun person to be around with, or he could also be a punisher who makes us suffer every practice, and that it is totally up to us. He would remind us of our identities for being in the team, and how we should work together. I felt that this was really effective and helped the team understand him. From him, I learned that we have to act differently according to different situations. Your identity, the people you are interacting with, and the situation you are in should all be accounted for in your actions.
When I was in high school, I went on a trip called “Niko.” It is basically an outdoor training for teams. For example, we hiked on routes that were rarely used so that it was hard for us to find the correct way, and we kayaked for hours without knowing our destinations. The leader left a memorable impression on me even though it had only been a week. He was mainly an observer throughout the trip and did not say much. Nevertheless, I had no trouble trusting in him and respecting him as our leader. During our sharing times, his empathetic eyes and facial expressions just made us want to share whatever was on our minds with him. I could just feel how powerful he was even though he did not look strong at all. For a long time, I could not find the answer as to where this mysterious power comes from. I just thought that I may have respected him because of his servant’s heart and humility that were obvious to all of us. However, when I read the book Leadership Presence by the cofounders of the Ariel Group, I started to realize what the source was: presence. Since none of us had phones or other electronics to distract us throughout the trip, we were all forced to be “present in the moment.” The leader demonstrated this so well that I am certain this is his lifestyle. He had the ability that the book described: “to express feelings and emotion appropriately by using all means of expression – words, voice, body, face – to deliver one congruent message.” It was because of his authenticity and presence that we could all have faith in him without a doubt.
My core values have always been determination and perseverance. Ever since I was a child, my motto has been to “never give up.” I would try my best to achieve what I am aiming for regardless of any difficulties and circumstances. One of the greatest satisfactions for me is doing something that seems impossible to others. When I was trying out for the Hong Kong gymnastics team, the coaches and other gymnasts all thought that I was too fat or heavy for this sport. Even my parents did not really want me to pursue it because it is a dangerous sport. Nevertheless, I endured all the harsh trainings, even when nearly all my friends there left the team since they could not bear the pain. I proved that I could do well in this sport by winning many competitions. However, I injured myself during a practice before a big competition and had to stop practicing for a year to recover. I was also kicked out of the team because of this accident. My mother was actually relieved as she thought this would be the end of my gymnastics career. However, I joined another club and started to relearn all the skills that I had lost. I overcame the fear of falling and getting injured again, and even joined a few competitions after that. Because of these experiences, I believe that I am able to do anything if I put my mind to it and follow through. Therefore, the topic of “mindset” in this class really resonated with me. From the reading Mindset by Carol Dweck, I learned about the power of having a growth mindset. I really agree that “the passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset.” This is the key to being resilient, to be able to get back up no matter how many times you have fallen.
Before I came to Washington University, I took a course about leadership at Cornell University. The professor was the leader of the sports department, and she has trained many sports leaders. Her focus was on servant leadership, in which leaders should put others before themselves. As I am a Christian, this really allowed me to see how Jesus demonstrated leadership throughout His lifetime: “just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. (Matthew 20:28)” Through this, I learned that leaders cannot be self-centered. They need to make sacrifices in order to bring out the greater good for others.
My top strengths as assessed by the Values in Action survey are judgment, creativity, perspective, prudence, and honesty. Although I would like perseverance to be higher up than the seventh position, I think that this is a fair analysis of my strengths. Judgment is important to me because I have experienced many situations that require me to put down my biases and assumptions. I realize that it is wise to make a decision after learning about all the factors and consequences regarding to that choice. Thus, I try to be very careful in my choices, only making decisions when I am certain that I will not regret later on, leading to my strength in prudence as well. Creativity is something that I value a lot. I love ideas that are truly new and original, and I am always impressed by those who can do so. I feel that I used to be more creative, that my thoughts are not limited by any aspects or boundaries. However, I still try to do things differently and make them interesting whenever I can. Perspective may come from how I try to understand my friends’ problems and empathize with them. I always think about how others will react and what goes through their minds under different situations. I think that honesty comes from my Niko experience, in which I learned from the leader what it means to be genuine and authentic.
My current view of leadership is that it is a lifestyle. I think that this should not be applied only at times when we are under the attention of others. This should be the meaning of being a human being, the way of life. This is because we live in a world where having relationships with one another is the biggest part of our life. Therefore, our focus should always be on others. We should understand and serve one another. If everyone were to put their strengths into areas that could best benefit the others, I believe that this world will become the definition of amazing. By being true and encouraging others, we empower one another to achieve goals. We will then have the motivation and determination to do what we aim to do. Since enabling others is such a crucial thing, I think that everyone should learn about leadership and put it into practice in our daily lives. This way, we can create a culture of love and care that everyone wants to be a part of.
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