There are many important aspects of leadership, but one that is often overlooked is that of emotional intelligence. Leaders who look down on their followers actually prevent themselves from being approachable or open. This, in turn, can create a closed-off, power-hungry leader who lacks insight or vision, which can be incredibly dangerous for an organization. The only solution is for a leader to become other-focused rather than self-focused. Leaders who are open to the ideas of their followers have a clearer sense of the end goal. They can put themselves in the mindset of their followers to empathize and truly understand the best steps to take in working towards the goal. They are then better able to motivate their followers to work towards this outcome. For these reasons and more, a strong sense of emotional intelligence is vital for successful leadership, because being a successful leader relies on listening to and valuing one’s followers.
Emotional intelligence is defined as “the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.” This skillset is critical for being a leader because great leaders should be able to influence and manage others’ emotions in an empowering way. According to Frances and Neilson, “a strong body of evidence now supports the view that the development of emotional intelligence in people and organizations has a dramatic and direct causal effect on performance” (Frances and Neilson, Ch. 2). What role does emotional intelligence play in our lives? When encountering life experiences, our emotional response varies according to our personalities, beliefs, and values. It can, in turn, be modified by our intelligence and the extent to which we understand our own, and others’, feelings. These subconscious processes form what is known as emotional intelligence, and would be the determining factor in our decisions making. Thus, emotional intelligence is crucial in the action we take, don’t take, and the final outcome of the situation.
In order to further understand how emotional intelligence affects leadership, we interviewed two leaders in St. Louis. Our first interview was with Pastor Jim, the leader of Destiny Church, which has about a thousand members. As a pastor, he gives a sermon at the church every weekend, teaching the followers about the values and life lessons he learned from the Bible. In addition, he connects to newcomers whenever possible, welcoming them to become a part of the group. Frequently, people come to him with problems, such as marital or family issues. He tries to resolve these by strengthening the relationships between those in conflict. Since his job both requires him to interact with a diverse group of individuals and deal with many emotions in his followers, we knew that he would be able to provide us with insight on the topic of emotional intelligence and leadership.
We also interviewed Judy Newmark, an entertainment journalist who works at the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. She oversees a group of writers while also making contributions to the paper herself. She finds that having a strong sense of connection with her followers is vital to success, not only for her particular position, but for the newspaper as a whole. She constantly has to put herself in others’ shoes, manage conflict, and motivate her team—all important aspects of emotional intelligence. Though she had never heard of this phrase prior to our interview, she made it clear that it’s a necessary trait of a good quality leader.
From these two interviews, we recognize that a strong sense of emotional intelligence is vital for successful leadership, because being a leader relies on listening to and valuing one’s followers.
In the article “The Must-Have Leadership Skill” in the Harvard Business Review, author Daniel Goleman explains, “You can be the most brilliant innovator, problem-solver or strategic thinker, but if you can’t inspire and motivate, build relationships or communicate powerfully, those talents will get you nowhere. What Zenger and colleagues call the “interpersonal skills” — and what I call social intelligence — are the secret sauce in top-performing leadership. Lacking social intelligence, no other combination of competences is likely to get much traction. Along with whatever other strengths they may have, the must-have is social intelligence.” (Goleman)
Therefore, the first step in being an effective leader is mastering the social skills that come along with emotional intelligence. Newmark expressed in her interview that building rapport with people you work with is an important part of having a strong team. She explained that technology makes it difficult, because many of the people she works with don’t even need to be in the office to do their work. They can simply write from home. Newmark says that working independently, or away from the office, means it’s even more important to have face-to-face contact when you can. Fun group activities, picnics, sports, trivia, may seem trivial but are actually vital for building a strong, harmonious team. She also organizes weekly meetings in which every single person in the department sits in a board room to discuss the projects they are working on. She says that this meeting is more about having everyone in one space at the same time than actually hearing what everyone’s progress is. She explained that it’s important for people to truly know the others they are working with, as this creates a stronger and more cohesive team, and ultimately, a better newspaper. As Newmark says, “Working at a paper, you’re creating something for people, so you have to learn to work with people!”
Studies have shown that people tend to befriend those who share similarities with themselves. This is because we enjoy, and feel comfortable, with the familiarity. We want to be accepted as who we are, and surrounding ourselves with those who share our exact opinions is a seemingly guaranteed way to do that. Nevertheless, when building relationships with people in the real world, we often face others with very different backgrounds and worldviews. Pastor Jim thinks that a leader’s focus should be on engaging others, acceptance, openness, and willingness to adapt. We should not only gravitate towards like-minded people. He believes that openness is incredibly important in order for leaders to grow. By being open to others’ ideas and contributions, people will feel accepted and that their inputs are valued. This way, followers will be more inclined to appreciate and respect the leader. Moreover, this allows a leader to understand perspectives that they are unfamiliar with, or even those that they might disagree with. By reaching out to diverse groups of people, leaders gain knowledge on their views, values, and beliefs, allowing them to further connect with people of both similar, and different, backgrounds and worldviews. This enables them to disregard any personal presumptions or biases towards others and empathize, or develop relationships, with them.
As a leader, it is important to be authentic and transparent to your followers. By living your life and taking actions in a consistent manner, you enable your followers to put faith in you and follow you. Because of this, you have to display your true self to everyone instead of just a few that you trust. Leaders must learn to be vulnerable. Pastor Jim has to demonstrate this every weekend when he gives his sermon. He shares his personal stories with the audience and lives out his teachings in his daily life. He believes that sharing his weaknesses can help him to connect with the audience, allowing them to better relate to him and understand his message. Being vulnerable to close family and friends is already a difficult task, but it is also essential to do the same with those you are less familiar with. You have to let the person know your feelings in order to develop a better relationship. “Once you know how you feel, you can let the other person know. Start by saying 'I feel’ and not ‘you are making me feel’” (Hasson, Ch. 11). By doing this, you are inviting the other person into a better understanding your situation, helping him or her see what you are going through. Although that person may not change his or her actions, you have behaved assertively and fulfilled your responsibilities. Sometimes, the results may even change your views on that person, and may eventually lead you to develop a better relationship with one another as well.
Connecting with people through the use of social skills is only a small factor of what it takes to become an effective leader. Another key aspect of emotional intelligence is motivation. The ability to motivate both yourself and others is crucial in accomplishing tasks. It is a skill that allows your team to stay on track and work towards the common goal. “Motivation can be defined as an internal condition that triggers behavior and gives it direction. It energizes and directs goal-oriented behavior” (Frances and Neilson, Ch. 4).
Before we can motivate others, we have to be able to first motivate ourselves. Both Pastor Jim and Judy Newmark recognize specific things that motivate them to work. Pastor Jim loves building things, especially people. He is very interested in the process of helping people succeed. Therefore, his work is mainly focused on solving others’ life problems and empowering them. Throughout the process, he is able to grow as a person by learning from the experience as well. Similarly, as an entertainment critic, Newmark’s passion for music, culture, and entertainment drives her to do what she loves. Since she loves going to the theater, making the theater a part of her job makes her excited to go to work each and every day. Motivation is the start and origin of success; it provides incentives for us to do what we aimed to do from the very beginning. “Success in business and in life comes from our motivation, energy, focus and resilience. Nothing we want is given to us on a plate. Anything that is given to us on a plate is less valued than something we have striven to attain. Indifference may do no harm in the short term but may lead to regret over time” (Frances and Neilson, Ch.5). Therefore, knowing the source of our motivation can help us avoid falling short in the long run.
Even when we know what motivates us, it is not easy to keep up the motivation. Often times, we have to handle stressful situations and setbacks. This is where persistence comes in: “Persistence is associated with self-discipline. It is in essence the ability to maintain action regardless of your emotions” (Frances and Neilson, Ch. 4). It is important to recognize your emotions and use them to further your actions rather than giving up. As an entertainment critic, Newmark has to deal with stressful situations often. Although most people are frustrated or even scared of stress, she actually thinks that it makes for a fun atmosphere. She jokes that she is an “adrenaline junkie." Newmark believes that we have to thrive on stressful situations and learn to let them energize us rather than making us afraid. She considers stress to be something that pushes her to reach deadlines and goals. Considering this method of stress-management, we can see how people with emotional intelligence are able to manage their emotions and use them as tools to attain their goals. According to Pastor Jim, leaders will experience pain regardless of the field they are in. Everyone will encounter setbacks and failures at multiple points of their life. But it’s how you learn to cope that transforms you into a stronger leader. It is a process in which you have to face your emotions head-on, rather than attempting to avoid them. Since Newmark works at a newspaper, she has to create a brand new product every day. When she fails at something, she chooses to be optimistic and learn from it, rather than dwelling on her mistake. By doing so, she becomes more confident that she will succeed the next time. Not only do we have to be able to handle our emotions effectively, but we should also use our mistakes as lessons for ourselves to do better in the future. This way, the so-called “setbacks” will then become the key factors that contribute to your success.
Even though we know that this is the healthy way to deal with failures, many fail to act this way when they encounter real misfortunes in life. This is because there are often circumstances that are out of our control, leaving us feeling powerless and hopeless. Pastor Jim thinks that these problems in life can form barriers to our motivation. He believes that natural motivation comes when people are healthy in the mind, body, and spirit. As human beings, we are meant to be inspired and envisioned. Intrinsic motivation “derives from rewards inherent to a specific task or activity” (Frances and Neilson, Ch. 4). It is the sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that everyone possesses. Therefore, Pastor Jim tries to resolve these issues in order to motivate others in their lives. Communication is also important in influencing others to take actions. Newmark leads the others by making her case clear and strong to them. She believes that one can be persuasive if he or she can make a good argument. Similar to Pastor Jim’s idea of natural motivation, she thinks that everyone is interested in achieving the same goal. It’s just a matter of empowering others to be able to reach it. Everyone can be persuaded if it means achieving that common goal.
As any relationship is a two-way street, simply motivating others is not sufficient in becoming an effective leader. Leaders need input from followers as well, and in order to achieve this, they need to be able to understand their followers’ perspectives and needs so that their followers may feel valued. “People with emotional intelligence are good communicators; they listen, know what to say and what not to say, when to say it and how. Typically, emotionally intelligent people are considerate and positive people, and this helps them to sense the emotional needs of others” (Hasson, Ch. 7). This ability to understand and share the feelings with another person is empathy. Pastor Jim explained to us that he often relies on a sense of empathy when trying to resolve a conflict between two people who can’t see eye to eye. He says that it’s easy to choose a side immediately, but as a leader, he needs to step back and try to put himself in another person’s shoes. He instructs the people in conflict to use empathy as well. For instance, Pastor Jim commented on the fact that married couples who come to him with problems often aren’t listening to each other. He instructs them to use empathy, the same type that he relies on in his every day career, to hear each other out and try to imagine life from the other’s point of view.
He also told the story about a time when he had to learn to empathize with anyone, even those he disagrees with originally. After giving a sermon he felt very confident about, a church member approached him and rudely told him everything that he felt was wrong with the speech. The man felt it was unfair and offensive. Pastor Jim, who believes there is some truth to any kind of negative feedback, decided to look at the situation as an opportunity. He reread his sermon over that night to multiple people in order to gain perspective. He made changes and presented the altered sermon the following day. The same man approached Pastor Jim after the service and told him two things: First, he wanted to apologize about the way he had confronted him the night before. Secondly, that the new sermon was better than he could have ever imagined. Pastor Jim said that this situation taught him the benefits of negative feedback, as well as the importance of empathy. “Accepting other people’s emotions is a passive act; it means you do nothing but simply listen and observe. You don’t judge, block, dismiss, take over, or allow the other person’s feelings to dominate yours” (Hasson, Ch. 7). According to Keltner, "Practicing empathy also creates a shared awareness of what others are feeling, which is a form of power, freeing people up to respond with greater calm and flexibility to others' emotional displays" (Keltner, 75). Pastor Jim now gets the opinions of different people before he reads his sermons to the church, because he truly values input from his followers.
Judy Newmark also relies on empathy in her everyday career. She explained that, as a mother, she’s had a lot of training being empathetic. Working at a newspaper, something new must be produced every single day. This creates a very stressful work environment—one that Newmark and her colleagues actually thrive on. However, this means that when her staff come to her with a problem, particularly one that involves an inability to meet a deadline, it can be hard for her to stay calm. But something she’s learned during her time as a leader is that connecting with one’s followers is one of the most important skills one can have. Keltner explains, "Empathy, by creating more collaborative interactions, leads people to enjoy enduring power" (Keltner, 76). Collaborative interactions are something that Newmark truly values in her work life. She believes that being able to work with and collaborate with others is vital for creating anything, such as a newspaper in her case. So when people approach her with these problems, she first tries to take a step back and imagine herself in their place. She says this often allows her to fully understand what the individual is going through, particularly if she has been in the same situation herself.
Newmark described a time when she wanted to see a show to review out of town, in order to expand the boundaries of her reviews. Unfortunately, her editor argued that it was not in the budget. At first, she was upset, as she wanted to review the show. But then she took a moment to practice empathy. She realized she truly wanted what was best for the paper, and if the finances of the paper could be used for better purposes, then they should be. She understands that what is important for her is not always of primary importance to the whole department, and she used empathy to reach this conclusion. Empathy has actually proven to be extremely effective in business success as well. According to the article “Empathy is the Hottest Trend in Leadership” from Time Magazine, “The 10 top performing businesses from among the 160 included in The Empathy Business’s ‘Global Empathy Index’ generated 50% more net income per employee than the bottom 10 performers” (Nicks). This demonstrates that prioritizing empathy in leadership quality can have actual tangible results for an organization as well. Not only is it important for a leader to have empathy towards his or her employees, it’s important for a company to have empathy for its consumers as well. Newmark expanded on this when she explained that she always has to have empathy for her audience when writing reviews, as they are the people who purchase the papers each day. She went on to say that it is important to try to feel what your customer is feeling, to understand why they want to purchase your product. Apparently, companies have already begun to figure this out. The article in Time went on to explain, “The automaker Ford, for instance, has newly-hired engineers wear a belly garment designed to simulate pregnancy so they can design vehicles with a sensitivity to the extra weight, back pain and bladder pressure that women carrying children experience getting in and out of cars” (Nicks). As humorous as this may be, it’s empathy nonetheless, and it’s also incredibly important in creating a product that appeals to whom the company wishes to appeal to.
From the evidence presented, we can see that emotional intelligence enables leaders to be other-focused, which in turn leads to successful relationships between leaders and followers, as well as the performance of the group. Social skills allow leaders to connect with their followers genuinely with openness and acceptance. Motivation and persistence push both the leaders and the followers towards their common goal, infusing them with passion that drives them forward despite barriers and setbacks. Empathy helps leaders see the bigger picture and all the perspectives of the situation. All in all, emotional intelligence is “all about being able to interact with other people; using our own emotions in harmony with others’ emotions to create a desired outcome” (Frances and Neilson, Ch. 5).
Bibliography
Goleman, Daniel. "The Must-Have Leadership Skill." Harvard Business Review. N.p., 14 Oct. 2011. Web. 08 Dec. 2016.
Hasson, Gill, and Gill Hasson. Understanding Emotional Intelligence. Harlow: Pearson Education, 2015. Web.
Keltner, Dacher. The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence. New York: Penguin, 2016. Print.
Kite, Neilson, and Frances Kay. Understanding Emotional Intelligence: Strategies for Boosting Your EQ and Using It in the Workplace. London: Kogan Page, 2012. Web.
Nicks, Denver. "Empathy Is the Hottest Trend in Leadership." Time. Time, n.d. Web. 08 Dec. 2016.
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